Winding down
As the year winds down, so does my vacation. I’m trying to make plans for New Year’s Eve but as with most times I try to plan, the variables (mainly other people) make it extremely difficult. 
The plans range from drinking at the house to going out to taking a little road trip. Here I am, the day before and still people won’t commit. Thats a real problem lately. Any time I want to do something, I can’t seem to get people on board because they either don’t have the money, time, or balls to lock-in. Its funny because thats the story of my life. Try to organize things, they fall through. Try to date, it falls through. People suck.
As with most things though, I’ll keep trudging through it all hoping to meet some people who are on better footing. Gotta keep trying.
I know I kind of already did a revue of the year around my birthday, but I figured I’d say a few more words. haha. The more I reflect on the year, the more I see that I’ve continued to learn and grow … and mellow out somewhat. I’ve also found that I’ve been wanting more and more to find that group of friends I’ve been missing in Charlotte and someone to fill the other seat in my hot little car. Not that this is anything new, but I have found myself trying a lot harder … and yielding the same results. Theres something wrong in my approach and I’ve been thinking a lot on that for the last couple months. I think part of the problem is that I’m too responsible/mature for my age. Is that even possible? Well, to put it in perspective, I have absolutely no problem making friends and finding dates in people who are a decade or two older than me. Being as thats not what I want, I don’t take those friends or dates. I have quite an easy time talking to people of my own age and within a few years …. and they have quite an easy time disappearing.I don’t feel too terribly awful that people disappear on me. In talking with some others my age, apparently this isn’t all that uncommon. Neither is the disgusting sense of entitlement and me-centric view a lot of them have. But I’ve written about that before. Additionally, I have no problem finding those much, much younger than me. The problem here is general lack of education and life experience … and a penchant for excessive partying and general lack of appreciation for activities that do not include alcohol. I’m not trying to be pretentious here … I’ve graduated from having to party hard day and night. I find it hard to enjoy the company of those who live this lifestyle.
This year I also really started to feel the need to move on to the next chapter. This is driven by my need for a new intellectual challenge in my work and also because I feel that I’ve exhausted my friend options in Charlotte. Essentially, I’m ready to flee and start anew. Again. For the fourth time. I’m working for weak leaders who are set in their old ways. I’m living in a transient city where people come and go and thus the atmosphere is cliquish. I think a change of scenery can be most helpful and uplifting … and thats exactly what I want.
2010: You will be my b*tch. I will own you and will get all of the things I want out of you because I will make it all happen.