Feedback
Feedback is an interesting thing. I was given some feedback on “leadership” from someone whom I do not respect as a “leader.” The situation I’m faced with is having to change my leadership style to suit this person when they simply can’t lead and the majority of people see it. Sadly, if I don’t adapt to this style, I have zero potential for growth in my organization. What a harsh reality and an interesting situation. On one hand, I’m told I’m very competent and I run things well. On the other, he tells me I’m not a very good leader and he doesn’t think I can collaborate with others. The interesting part is that I get that exact opposite feedback from my supervisor and from others. Sure I have things to work on, but I’ve never been told I’m not a good leader and that I don’t collaborate. This is how I’ve decided that the feedback is invalid … virtually everyone says the opposite of what he said. So I’m back to having to change someones perspective that is based solely on anecdote. The number of times I’ve been in this situation is frustrating. How an organization can hold some people to data-driven decisions and allow others to operate based on anecdote is beyond me. Still, valid or not, the person who gave it is influential and thus I have to deal with it.
I’m angry, depressed, upset, and generally disillusioned. I have to find a way to work through this. If I don’t my work will suffer and I’ll be worse off because of it.
Action plan:
1) Find a way around and through.
2) Don’t forget to breathe and smile.
3) Kiss so much ass you get shit on your face … thats what they want. (Can the anger and sarcasm. Its self-defeating.)
4) Try to find a compromise between giving what they want and what you feel is morally right to do. Address moral and ethical dilemmas rather than sit on them.
5) Remember that not all feedback is valid feedback.
6) Find ways to showboat without showboating. If you’re being told you don’t do enough of something, but you know you do, you’re probably just not communicating it enough to those who aren’t there when it happens.
7) If data exists that counters anecdote, there is nothing wrong with sharing it.
Recognize that you are of a different generation and that sometimes, success means catering to the expectations of a different generation. We all have different frames through which we see, interact, and expect.
I *really* need my vacation to get here. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted from this week. All because I wanted to grow, I now feel embattled and like I’m worthless. Morale issues abound. I need to be out of there for a few days, catch up on sleep, reset my view, and recharge myself. Thats typically how I grow. Sadly, I have to wait a few more weeks at least until I get a little time off.